I Got Divorced! Do I Deserve to be Happy?


It was a Sunday. I was in church speaking to one of my very dear friends. She told me that she wasn’t happy, but that she was fine with that. She wasn’t looking for happiness. She said she didn’t deserve to be happy. She said she shouldn’t have done what she did. She was talking about divorcing her husband. Unfortunately, I knew where she was coming from since I had also been divorced. I had already dealt with those same feelings of regret.

Divorce sucks! It just does. It affects and hurts so many people. We hurt the person that we divorce, we hurt our children, we hurt in-laws, brothers, sisters and friends. It affects so many people! It’s an awful thing to go through. When a person goes through a divorce, they are looking to find peace in their lives. More often than not, divorce creates more sadness, sorrow, heartache and confusion; BEFORE you get to the “peace” you were seeking. Sometimes people just stop in the middle of the post-divorce, healing process, and they stay in the negativity, guilt and shame of it all. Some never get to the “peace”. Statistically, they even take it into their next marriage, and end up divorced a second time. Did I mention divorce sucks?

I wanted to say so much to my friend. It was obvious she didn’t want to speak any more about it. It was hard enough for her to say what she said. I could see and feel the sorrow that she felt. I wanted to tell her, “Please do not give yourself a life sentence just because you or someone else may think you’ve done the “unforgivable”! The truth is, we all just have different paths. What if your experience can help someone else going through the same thing? What if your example actually stops another person from making the same mistakes? What if hidden behind the seemingly really bad stuff that we deal with in life, is a silver lining that has positive affects that you may not ever even recognize?”

One thing we know for sure. There are so many unanswered questions about this thing we call life. We shouldn’t judge others, and we certainly shouldn’t condemn ourselves for something that we cannot change that is in our past. Every day is a new beginning. We choose what to do with THIS day. Every day we choose to be happy or sad, and even healthy or unhealthy. We choose to live with fear or with faith. We choose to look ahead at the future, or live with regret from the past.

I have heard it said that that is why the windshield of the car is so big looking forward, and the rearview mirror is so small. It shows that we should be looking forward to our futures, not looking back at our pasts! It’s really all about “choices”. What do you choose?

Published by Lisa

As an author of the book, Lost and Finding Joy: Discovering Joy During Difficult Times, entrepreneur, certified life coach and life mastery consultant, my passion is to connect people with their dreams and to help them build their dreams -- or at least create better results for themselves; helping them live richer, more fulfilling lives. I really enjoy sharing my own personal experiences as an example for navigating this life, working towards living 90+ years, instead of living 1 year 90 times.

%d bloggers like this: