Journey of a Second Chance- Gates of New Beginnings – Raising Babies -Part 4

The love we had for each other was strong. If not, our marriage might not have lasted through the first year. I soon realized I lost complete control of raising my children the way I wanted. Co-parenting was not an option with my ex-husband. I asked his new girlfriend not to smoke in the car with my children. (How hard was that? They only had them every other weekend.) Instead of respecting my wishes, she smoked even more with them in the car. The same pattern happened with climbing trees, unsupervised four-wheeling (at ages 6 and 7 years old), playing violent video games, etc. To say it was hard is an understatement. There are no words for how I was feeling as a mother. I was afraid and I was angry! I yelled, screamed, begged and pleaded with my ex-, but it did no good. I hired an attorney for help, because I felt the children were in danger. He told me there was nothing I could do since he was their father, even though one of my sons broke his collar bone in a 4-wheeler accident. My other son rolled backwards down a hill, and was lucky he wasn’t severely hurt. I couldn’t stop their father, but I found a way to slow down the four-wheeler accidents. My attorney and I decided to draw up an Agreement that would forgive back child support plus interest, if he agreed to keep them off 4-wheelers while they were young. He agreed to the terms. I learned to keep my mouth shut about things I didn’t like. I learned there were things I could change, and things I couldn’t. I had to detach from the fear and let it go. I prayed and gave it to God. Like I’ve said before: Life is a journey. What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.

We didn’t think Kevin could have children. We weren’t preventing pregnancy for over a year. I had been pregnant three times before, and I knew something was up. I went to the store and bought a home pregnancy test. The year was 1999. We didn’t have a cell phone. I took the test and to my delightful surprise, it was POSITIVE!! I remember pacing the floor with excitement and I called my mom! She was happy for us! She could tell how excited I was. I was bursting at the seams to tell Kevin, but he was out farming. How should I tell him? Should I wait and spring the news on him at dinner? Should I get a “Congratulations” card? I couldn’t wait that long! I wanted to tell him right then! I paged him on his beeper and waited for his call. He called me from a payphone on the side of the road. “Guess what!? You’re not going to believe this! WE’RE PREGNANT!” Kevin was very happy, but he said he wasn’t surprised. “Really?” “Why?” We went to the LDS temple a month or so prior, and he received a blessing of healing. He said when they prayed over him, he knew at that moment we would have more children. We definitely have a testimony in the power of faith and prayer.

In October, our sweet baby girl, Alyssa Lauren, entered the world and blessed our lives. Six months later, we found out we were expecting baby #5…

Published by Lisa

I am a Blogger, a Real Estate Investor, a Certified Life Coach and Life Mastery Consultant. Mostly, I'm a Dreamer and my mission is to leave this world a better place because I was here.

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