So, yeah, Kevin started out 2013 in the hospital. After the doctor scared us into thinking they were going to have to remove his spleen, they ended up finding a bunch of ulcers in his colon and stomach. Once they figured it out, he began the physical healing process. They say disease is DIS-ease. At least for this, I’d have to agree, because we both still had emotional healing to do. Both of us were extremely unsettled. Kevin is always trying to please me, which I love about him, but not when it is at the cost of his own happiness. I was desperately trying to get away from the stress of the heating and air business, but he didn’t want to give it up. Thinking I knew what was best for both of us (my first mistake), I convinced him to let other people operate our business, so we could focus on real estate investing. Let’s just say it didn’t turn out the way I had planned, and things began to implode. Ultimately, feelings were significantly hurt. I didn’t know what I know now, and I promise you, I was all about my feelings. Close relationships were damaged and some of us stopped speaking. I felt like a failure in every since of the word “failure” and I fell into a deep depression. I allowed those feelings to completely take over me, to the point I didn’t think I wanted to live anymore. I had a lot of learning and growing to do. It was painful. I couldn’t stand being a victim, because I understood to some degree that it was only 10% what happens, and 90% how we react. It still hurt. It hurt bad. Fortunately, I held onto a very small piece of hope that things would get better. I had the Thomas Kinkade painting called Footprints in the Sand, hanging over my bed. I prayed that God would carry me.
Lost and Finding Joy 