The Journey Continues…Part 3 (FEAR)

Let’s talk about that dream killing, life sucking, four letter word–FEAR.  Understanding it more causes it to lose some of it’s power, and gives the power back to you.  I know, I know.  Fear has it’s place.  It’s good to have, especially for young teenage boys (even though they don’t seem to have much fear at all…I should know, I have two sons.) But, Fear can be paralyzing. When you discover your desires (or dreams), when you know what you want, you aren’t always going to know exactly how to get there.  Since you don’t know all the steps it’s gonna take, there’s a certain amount of uncertainty you have to walk in.  Uncertainty breeds fear, so sometimes we have to bring fear along for the ride.

One of the things most of us fear is change.  Funny that’s true, because change is always happening.  We can’t stop it.  Since we can’t stop it, we want to know why we get afraid.  We want to shed some light on it, so it’s not so big and scary.  I’m definitely no expert on the brain, but I’ve learned enough to recognize fear when it shows up.  Once I recognize it, and understand why it’s happening, I am able to befriend the fear and take another step.  So, why does it happen?  What are we afraid of?  Uncertainty.  Anything new.  Anything unlike what we’ve known.  All kinds of stuff.  You see, our brains are designed to keep us alive.  And guess what, we are alive, so whatever we’ve been doing feels pretty safe.  The more we do something, we create patterns in our brains.  It really likes repetition.  I picture our brains saying, “She’s doing it again, and she’s still alive.  This must be good for her.  I’ll stay calm.”  BUT, when we do something DIFFERENT, something out of the ordinary, our brains send signals out.  Sometimes our hearts beat faster, chemicals start dumping, and who knows what all is set off.  Since I’m not a neurological guru by any means, we will simply say that’s when “fear” shows up.  And boy-oh-boy is it clever!  Yep.  It’s very clever.  It shows up in sneaky ways – like a thief in the night.  One way it shows up is through DISTRACTION.  You’ll tell yourself things like, “I really should get this laundry done before I make those phone calls.” Or “Maybe I’ll just do it tomorrow, next week, next month, or even next year!”  You’ll even pat yourself on the back and say, “Look, I painted my house today.” But, did you work on your goals and take a step in that direction at all?  One of my favorite mentors, Robert Kiyosaki (author of the book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad), said it best ~ “Just because you’re busy, doesn’t mean you’re not being lazy.”  I love his candidness!  But, that’s how fear shows up as distraction.  Let’s not do anything “new” today.  Clever, huh?  

So, I had my goal. I had my dream in mind.  I knew my desire was (and is) to help as many people as I can while I’m here.  I knew I wanted to help more people on a different level than I could do in the heating and air business.  I didn’t know all the steps I was going to have to take.  But, I knew I couldn’t keep taking the same steps or I’d never get there.  Einstein said it best, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”  That’s why we sold our heating and air business.  We weren’t being completely reckless though.  We still have our real estate investing business.  I don’t want you to just up-and-quit your job (not necessarily).  It’s good to take risks, but let’s not be “risky.”  You want to have some kind of plan for income while you are building your dreams.  If you’ve ever played the game “Cashflow 101,” a game created by Robert Kiyosaki, you always start out in the “Rat Race.”  I worked in the heating and air business almost 20 years total.  I learned how to invest in real estate during that time, and I made some investments.  I may have stayed in the “Rat Race” far longer than I should have.  I don’t know.  I was waiting for the “right” time.  I found out, there never really is a “right” time for anything until we DECIDE it’s time.  So, we finally decided to completely let go of what my banker calls our “money machine” (our heating and air business).  I called it “burning the ship.”  If I was going to live the life I’ve been imagining, I simply had to walk in FAITH.  I didn’t know who or what all would eventually show up to help me along the way.  You won’t know either, but trust me, people and circumstances do show up.  We don’t know what doors will open or frankly, what doors will be closed.   We just have to get past distraction and take the next step. When we take enough steps (repetition), we create NEW patterns in our brains and then we are back to being comfortable doing the stuff that’s walking us toward our dreams.  

Is that it?  All we have to do is get past distraction, and we are set?  Nope.  Sorry.  Another way fear shows up in it’s clever little disguise is through DISSUASION.  Our brains will try to talk us out of it.  We will say things to ourselves like, “What am I doing? How does this match up with what I’ve always known? Who am I to think I can do this?” And here is one of the scariest of all…”What if I FAIL?”  Let’s talk about that a minute.  I am no stranger to failure.  If you’re honest, you’re not either.  You may have even been playing it safe most of your adult life, but as a child, you definitely experienced failure.  We must be willing to fail to get where we really want to go.  It’s not so bad.  We used to not mind failing so much.  Remember?  None of us were born walking.  Most of us fell down, before we nailed it.  We never fell down and said, “Well, that’s it!  I guess I wasn’t meant to be a walker.”  Did you learn to ride a bike?  Ever fall down?  Did you get back on and learn to ride that bike?  I hope so.  Somehow, we stop allowing ourselves to fail, and we start playing it safe.  Why?  If everyone did that we wouldn’t even have electricity in our homes.  We’d still be using oil and lamps, because apparently, Thomas Edison failed thousands of times before he nailed the light bulb.  When he was asked how he kept trying through all the failures, he said, “I never had a failure.  I had feedback.”  He learned what not to do, and ultimately learned what worked.  We have to do the same thing.  We aren’t going to do it all perfectly.  If we are going to reach our full potential though, we have to be willing to fail.  But guess what.  We don’t really fail until we stop trying.  If we fall 10 times, we should simply get up 11 times.  Robert Kiyosaki says, “If 9 out of 10 businesses fail, start 10 businesses!”

And what about those feelings of unworthiness?  What’s that all about?  Why do we say things like, “Who am I to think I can do that?”  REALLY?  Who are YOU?  You are so much more powerful than you even realize.  You are literally a child of God.  You were uniquely made.  There is nobody else in this world just like YOU.  Only YOU can do what you were designed and sent here to do.  NOBODY can fill your shoes.  You’ll just have to take my word for it, here in this blog post.  But, seek that one out, if you haven’t already.  Discover who YOU really are.  And if you have the DESIRE to do anything, you are equipped and a way is already being made for you to do it.  Otherwise, you wouldn’t have the desire in the first place.  The Latin meaning of the word De-sire – is “Of the Father.”  

I can’t give a whole seminar on fear in this blog post, but I hope to have a webinar available for you soon.  When I do, I’ll put the link here in this blog post.  I encourage you to learn as much about it as possible, because it is what keeps us from our highest potential.  Before I stop sharing on this topic, I should mention that there is another level of fear called, “FIGHT OR FLIGHT” that shows up just before an old pattern dies.  Just know that when you are making changes, and when you are starting to create new patterns, the old pattern shows up with a vengeance just before it dies; and it tries to pull you back to “status quo.” Your brain is always trying to pull you back to the familiar.  When it does, when you recognize what it’s doing, then you have the power to say, “Oh.  I know what’s happening here.  It’s a pattern – a paradigm – a limiting belief system.  I recognize you AND I’m taking another step!”  When you do that enough times, poof.  The old pattern dies, and the new pattern is alive and well.   We don’t want to be afraid of fear, but we do want to respect it.  It’s powerful!

I am thankful for the things I’ve learned.  I’m thankful to be taking steps toward my dream of helping as many people as I can while I’m here.  I have already had the privilege of working with many clients and witnessing growth and understanding in their lives.  I love helping people learn and grow, and especially helping them to “awaken” or become more aware of the truth that they seek.  I especially love seeing them recognize the truth of who they really are, and understanding more about what their true potential is.  There is a power in all of us that is so great.  Did you know that you have the power within you to overcome ANY condition or circumstance going on in your life right now? We can’t control everything that happens in our lives, BUT, we absolutely can control how we react or respond to what is happening or has happened.

And remember.  We are not alone. “With God, ALL things are possible.”  We simply want to do our part and move from possible, to probable, to predictable.  It all begins with our thoughts.  I’ll share more on that in the next blog post.


Published by Lisa

As an author of the book, Lost and Finding Joy: Discovering Joy During Difficult Times, entrepreneur, certified life coach and life mastery consultant, my passion is to connect people with their dreams and to help them build their dreams -- or at least create better results for themselves; helping them live richer, more fulfilling lives. I really enjoy sharing my own personal experiences as an example for navigating this life, working towards living 90+ years, instead of living 1 year 90 times.

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